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Is this normal?

In my experience, this is not normal.

What typically happens is your employer would work with you in the transition by supporting you with training. Or alternatively, you employer could allow you a bit more time to do tasks in this new technology to account for the learning curve.

I will say however, as a developer myself, it is on me to stay current in my chosen stack and to not become out dated.

I would also suggest you talk to you manager about a cooperative training effort to move towards this new technology that would include some of your time, the companies time, and maybe even a bit of paid training (instructor lead or online).

Good companies invest in their staff.

Technology is a rapidly changing industry - there is always something new to learn. It is much cheaper to keep a current member of staff up to standard than to replace them with a new hire, which costs time and money in recruitment and getting up to speed. Good companies recognize this, and provide their staff with training in whatever technologies they use. It is therefore reasonable for you to hope that your employer will give you time and resources to learn new technologies during work hours.

Not every employer realizes this, they see the obvious cost of providing training and do not recognize the hidden costs of failing to do that. Sadly this is common.

However...

Your employer won't care more about your career than you do - it's your career.

When you first got a developer job, you (probably) didn't turn up on their doorstep saying, "I know nothing about development, pay me while I learn, then eventually I'll do some work for you!". You probably learned how to develop on your own time, maybe as part of full-time education, maybe getting some qualifications (which may have included a degree), before you got the job. You chose your career, and invested in it.

Now, some time later, your current knowledge is not enough. You need to learn more. Although a good employer will help you with this... ultimately, it's you that needs to learn it. This may involve learning on your own time, putting your own energy and resources (time/money/etc.) into it. It is your career, after all. If you don't want to keep up to date with new technologies, your employer may decide to replace you with someone who will. Then, when you are looking for a new job, you may be competing with other candidates who have already learned those new technologies, while you will be left explaining that your former employer didn't give you training so you never did.

Therefore, while both employer and employee should invest in ongoing professional development and learning, whether the employer does this or not, the employee must, or else they will find themselves lacking skills and knowledge that are needed in modern development.

This new team member can be quoted as saying "It's not upon your
employer to give you time to learn" and that we should all be doing
this in our spare time at home.

This new team member is confused.

And unless this new team member is your boss, or is funding your paycheck, then this new team member can be safely ignored.

If an employer wants you to learn something new, then your employer should be happy to pay for that learning on company time.

Of course if the new technology interests you or hold long term promise for your career, you may wish to augment that with your own learning in your own time - that's just good career advice. And that's your personal choice to make.

Is this normal?

Sadly, there are some confused people we all get to work with.

That doesn't make any of them right.

As a rule of thumb, what you do in your free time is none of your employer's business. Their right to assign tasks is limited to work hours. They hired you for a specific position, presumably after interviewing you for that position, and the skill set that you had at that time. They have since then changed their mind and decided they want a different skill set. Whether that means hiring someone else or training existing employees, it is a strategic decision the business made and any expenses related to that are theirs to cover.

Now, learning new technologies is part of the job, and your employer would have reason to complain if you refused to learn the new tech stack at all. Considering the resources available today, one could also argue that it is reasonable to expect an experienced software developer to familiarize themself with a new language or framework without the employer providing extensive training. However, the key difference between training that you do of your own accord and training mandated by your employer is who gets to decide if, what, when and how much you learn. If they pay for it, they get to choose. If not, it's your time to do with as you will.

Personally, if I consider the tech in question worthwhile and the company is otherwise decent, I don't mind "throwing them a bone" and picking that language or framework for my next hobby project, but to demand this kind of unpaid overtime raises all sorts of red flags.

In my experience, the generally accepted practice is to factor learning time into the estimates of any project that requires employees to learn a new technology. Adding a team member with the desired skill set is a good way to speed up that process, but it will still delay the project. Whether or not that's worth it is up to the business to decide.

Totally not. Not even worth discussing it.
Your free time is yours. If they want you to spend extra time - they have to pay overtime.
If you agree to study for free for them next time they may ask you to do accounting for them on your spare time.

Broadly speaking, I feel like the responses to these sorts of questions don't consider the reality of the market.

In short, being a developer is all about knowledge and experience and often knowing more means you can experience more which then reinforces what you know. It makes you extraordinarily valuable if you can do this.

That said, consider your options. Ok, fine your employer won't train you. Are you ready to bust your quotes? Are you ready to be slower than other team members who went ahead and DID do the learning on their own time.

My issue with the responses here is they're not pragmatic. If I were told "Learn this tech in your spare time." and I overheard another dev saying "I'm not going to do that. It's MY time.", I'm learning that tech in my free time. Because I'm ambitious and I know I'll perform more effectively if I do so.

This is the REALITY of things. If you don't, someone else will. I'm not saying it's right or fair, I'm saying that's how this goes. But my perspective is: To be a developer, you must ALWAYS be learning. ALWAYS. It never stops, not even a little. Put in the time and you'll get a comfortable job and good money.

In a perfect world, we would be trained and taken care of and all would be well.But the world is an imperfect place. But more basically, the way I see it is: I'm a dev, I should be learning in my free time anyways because my career depends on it.

In all the discussions, I see people debating norms concerning right and wrong. While these ideas are good compasses to keep us well regulated when nobody is looking, it rarely serves us well when another party is involved and exercising leverage against us (ie paycheck).

Generally speaking, what is okay and isn't okay is based on the perspective of the individual being requested action of.

In my experience, I've been asked to do things I wasn't entirely pleased with. When those things happen, I feel that the energy of being spurred to action by an overly demanding employer is to look for your next place to land at. Outwardly complaining will weaken your negotiating position as they will have time to try and replace you before you get to ultimatums. Don't tell them your looking. Just spring it up when the opportunity is in your hands (and not kind of, but you have your first day of new work scheduled). If notice isn't possible, don't worry about it. You don't owe courtesies to people who disrespect your time.

Emotional events can really have us looking for divine justice, but here in the real world, we tend to get what we get. Don't let pride or a sense of justice weaken your position with a boss who wants off the clock work with no compensation. And if you worry about the team when your on the way out the door & your boss asks you to stay, ask for what staying is REALLY worth (at this point) to you (and staying might now be worth it at this point, but I like putting dollar signs on things) and negotiate work conditions at that time. If negotiations fall apart, remind your boss that he has at least one employee who doesn't mind doing stuff for free. If he looks like he/she is considering it, you would have made the world a better place with a loud mouth in check.

As you consider this answer, I would like to refer you to MC Hawking because I believe laughing is super important in stressful situations https://youtu.be/WUguUhKoVjI

The new guy is almost right, the following statement is true in general:

"It's not upon your employer to give you time to learn"

and we should all be [learning] in our spare time at home.

Although this is correct from a certain perspective, it is not correct in your circumstance.

In general:

1. It is actually on you to be familiar with new things.
   
   This is a part of having a long career in IT. I don't mean that you should know all the new stuff, just that a web developer should be aware of anything big that comes out of Google, Microsoft, Facebook, Twitter, etc.

By "aware" I mean that you should know approximately what it is and what the supposed advantages are (why people are choosing it).

I do not mean that you should learn each thing that comes out (that's not even possible).

In your case:

2. You are competent with your current work, and your employer wants to pivot in a new direction.
   
   In this case it is appropriate for you to expect work time to be used learning the "new thing".

I just feel that the onus is on the employer to give some time to learn and adapt

You are correct.

However, I would recommend that in the near term (until you are competent in the new tech) that you take some time from your spouse and daughter and invest it "in your career" so you will be ahead of the other people learning this, instead of the laggard.

This answer assumes that the "new thing" is (in your opinion) worth learning.

If that isn't true then the "home time away from your family" might be better spent looking for a new job (or learning something that your next job might need).